Problems in the past? Write your troubles away and feel more confident again…

Posted on June 25th, by Dr Rob Yeung .

I’ve been coaching two clients recently who are both feeling emotionally bruised and battered. They’re facing very different issues but I recommended the same technique to both with great results.

One woman – I’ll call her Jane – just exited a very difficult relationship with a married man. She invested 6 years in the relationship and in the last year or so had split up and got back together with him several times. However, she has now ended the relationship for what she intends to be the last time.

Another man whom I’ll call Alan has just been made redundant from his job. He really enjoyed his work but a few months ago received the shock news that his employer wanted him to leave. He was gutted.

While both Jane and Alan are experiencing different challenges – she wants to build up her social confidence while he wants to get a new job – they were both experiencing a similar tumult of emotions.

So I asked them to spend three consecutive evenings writing about their emotions. Research (which I cover in the chapter on Centredness in my E is for Exceptional book) tells us that writing about past troubles can help us to get over them and move on more quickly.

Writing about our thoughts and feelings can help us to draw a line under the past, gain insight and perspective on the past, and decide what we want from the future.

If you’re feeling weighed down with a personal issue in the past – whether it’s recently or long ago – try the following:

  1. Look at your schedule for the coming weeks and find three consecutive days when you will be able to write without interruption for at least 10 to 20 minutes on each occasion.
  2. Then simply start writing!  Write your deepest, most secret thoughts and feelings about whatever you want to exorcise.  Write about how the events have affected you, your family and friends, your past and your future.  You are the only person who will ever read this.
  3. Repeat the writing over the next two evenings.  You may find that over the three days, your thoughts and feelings evolve.  You may naturally spend less time rehashing the past and more time pondering the present and future.

Try it.  I’ve recommended this to several clients who were initially quite sceptical about it – and even they have reported great results.  Let me know how you get on.

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