Sometimes things can seem really bleak and hopeless. Maybe you’ve suffered a big disappointment at work or you feel rejected by a friend or loved one. Or perhaps it is world events that make you feel that things are gloomy.

If you’re feeling down and want to feel more confident about life again, here are 3 actions that psychologists often suggest to clients:

1. Buoy your spirits
Don’t allow yourself … Read more

What do you argue about with the people in your life? Maybe you have argued with your romantic partner about the division of household tasks, sex, fidelity and jealousy, or communication. Perhaps you’ve had past disagreements with family members or close friends over their behaviour or your behaviour.

Sometimes, the desire to be proven right and the other person wrong can become so strong that people can lose perspective. Thankfully, … Read more

There’s a solid body of research showing that positive emotions such as gratitude are good for us. You may already know that the ‘3 good things’ exercise has been shown in more than a few studies to help most people to feel more positive about themselves (for example, I wrote about it in my Confidence book).

If you haven’t come across the exercise before, the idea is that you simply … Read more

A lot has been written about emotional intelligence and its importance. By now I’m sure you don’t need convincing that it’s a good thing to be more emotionally intelligent. But in practical terms, how do you get better at it?

I define emotional intelligence as “the ability to understand and change emotions both in yourself and others.” So yes, some of this is to do with influencing other people. But … Read more

I’ve been reading a book by a professor of economics at Princeton University. Based on research studies, he concludes that: “the emotional lives of the poor are not very different from those of the rich, though the poor are much less satisfied with their lives.”

The professor distinguishes between emotions and satisfction. Yes, satisfaction is affected by wealth. Wealth allows people to avoid ill health and buy material comforts. … Read more

Whether you’re a leader managing a team of people or an individual trying to better yourself, research increasingly tells us that our emotions matter. Here’s a piece from one of the business magazines that I write for suggesting a) why our emotions matter and b) a simple technique for practising emotional control.

… Read more

Do you ever say things like ‘I’m so nervous’ or ‘It really annoys me when…’?

It’s natural to feel emotions like anxiousness or annoyance. Many people feel anxious before a big event – say giving an important presentation at work or going on a big date. Many people feel irritated when things go wrong – from delays on the daily commute to difficult colleagues or our computers going wrong.

We … Read more

I’ve been coaching two clients recently who are both feeling emotionally bruised and battered. They’re facing very different issues but I recommended the same technique to both with great results.

One woman – I’ll call her Jane – just exited a very difficult relationship with a married man. She invested 6 years in the relationship and in the last year or so had split up and got back together with … Read more